The trip is over and the goodbyes have begun – lots of hugs and a few tears. We had a wonderful last dinner all together at our Pietermaritzburg hotel last night with lots of reflecting beforehand over bad red wine. The things we have seen are quite difficult to process. We have only scratched the surface in so many ways and have to guard against extrapolating and assuming that we truly understand the culture of this huge and complicated country. I have read (and written) stories, before I came here, about most of the partners we visited but the experience of being there was SO different than reading about it. We are all feeling challenged about how to try to describe our experiences and help people who want to hear our stories feel even a little bit of what we felt and observed. And about how to help even more than we are right now. The need is so great and the people on the ground doing the work are so dedicated and skilled and effective.

We left Joan (participant from Richmond) in Pietermaritzburg and the rest of us took a bus to Durban. Betty and Char (participants from Nelson and Calgary) and Beth and Leslie (SLF staff) stayed in Durban and sent us a photo of themselves on the beach before our plane even landed in Johannesburg. Meg (SLF executive director) and Judi (participant from Burlington) started their journeys home today. The rest of us had yet another “final dinner” (and one more malva pudding and custard dessert!) back at the Airport Bird & Game Lodge where we stayed on our first night with the group 13 days ago. It feels like much longer. Bonnie and I both leave early tomorrow afternoon – Bonnie through Addis Ababa and Toronto to Victoria and I through Dubai and Toronto to Winnipeg. Most of the rest also leave tomorrow but later than we do so some are going to the Apartheid Museum and some on a city tour before leaving. We did that when we first arrived so are feeling pretty ready to be heading home to rest and reflect, see our family and friends and get back on our bikes! Thanks for following along on our journey. <3

Today we visited the offices of Stephen Lewis Foundation (SLF) partner dlalanathi which means “play with us”. They use play and parenting interventions to build supportive relationships between adults and children in the province of KwaZulu-Natal. With a focus on emotional and mental health, their programs support children affected by trauma and loss, and the ongoing challenges of poverty. 28% of all children orphaned in SA (600,000) live in the province, many with grandmothers.

The story of how they started, 25 years ago, is pretty inspiring. It is the story of three people – 1) a play therapist who was working in a children’s home when nobody was talking about HIV and especially not to kids about HIV , 2) Rob, a farmer man dying of brain cancer who noticed that his farm workers were dying of AIDS without access to a hospice or any kind of assistance, and 3) Rachel who met the play therapist while walking along a road with her young child. The therapist told her they needed someone to help with fundraising and Rachel thought “how hard can it be?” and said she’d help. Today, 25 years later, Rachel was the one who introduced us to the truly impactful, thoughtfully designed, multiple programs that they are currently offering. As his brain cancer progressed, Rob lost his ability to speak and started to paint pictures to communicate. Then his brain started to see warm colours as cold and vice versa. Their first logo was a pink cow. And he began to think that maybe art was a good way to get children to communicate rather than speech. Their early work was all with children, but they quickly realized that they also needed to work with parents/grandparents and that the parents were grieving. Learning how to work with grieving families came naturally because it was a grieving family that started the organization. They figured out, not just how to support the caregivers, but to enable them to take the necessary next steps with their children. They were in a stressed and understaffed environment, but they came up with the idea of using play and doll-making to create the support group processes. They make beautiful dolls which they do step by step, one group meeting at a time – trace an existing doll body onto a piece of paper, create the body out of material, stuff it thoroughly so it stands up well, add clothes, add feet and shoes, do the face, add the hair. This ongoing exercise in creativity made the caregivers sit still and opened the door to teaching them how to use the doll for storytelling. Rachel called it empowering the caregiver, OR, helping the caregiver remember their power. Telling stories while holding a doll you have created evolved into a system that looks at ways to connect children and mental health and caregivers and community. Their system of training staff members involves participating in the process first, then getting training, then co-facilitating groups and finally becoming a facilitator.

Dlalanathi connects with the Department of Health around maternal and childcare requirements and programs. They implement support as soon as the young women become pregnant. Pregnancy is often not welcome here – it happens as the result of sexual violence, or incest, or from a boyfriend who has now left, and the family turns their anger on the young woman. Dlalalanthi helps families deal with the conflict surrounding the pregnancy so that by the birth of the baby they have family support. They also work at the policy and district level to build capacity and strengthen these systems.

At this point we divided into three groups and went to meet with three different groups in the rural community of Swayimana an hour’s drive away.

From Bonnie: A group of us visited with some grandmothers. The drive there was through an agricultural area with avocado orchards, ostrich and cattle farms, vast sugar cane fields and tree farms.  We arrived at a well-kept family compound and were welcomed into a rondavel.  In Zulu culture this is a sacred space where families connect with their ancestors and maintain their cultural heritage.

We were welcomed with a song and a prayer.  Sitting in a circle we introduced ourselves with the two dlalanathi support workers translating into Zulu and English.  Then we were each given a hand made doll to hold.  Both African and Canadian grandmothers were invited to share how they felt on becoming parents and their parenting journey, what it was like to be a gogo and what made them proud of their grandchildren.  As the African women shared their stories many of them were holding their doll lovingly in their arms.  Their stories reflected difficult and challenging lives.  One woman shared that she had a daughter when she was still in school so she didn’t finish her own schooling.  She raised her daughter to young adulthood but then her daughter died.  Another woman told us her two daughters were married with children but both her sons had several children with different partners.  Several of the gogos were raising orphaned grandchildren.  But there were happy stories of children and grandchildren who had finished high school and some who were at university.  They also talked about familiar issues such as grandchildren arguing amongst themselves and complaining about not being the favourite grandchild. 

These women have been working with dlalanathi for some time.  This program starts with everyone making a doll.  Talking to the doll and holding it helps create a safe and intimate space to share stories, even difficult ones, with the guidance of a social worker.  They work with a child and youth counsellor who helps them with issues they have raising their grandchildren and also how to use play to connect with children.  The women in this group are now able to help facilitate other groups in the area.

Here we are with our dolls in front of the rondavel.

From Judi (Burlington Ubuntu Grandwomen): My group met with a group of health care workers and young moms. The HCWs run a 1000-day program that supports the mother and child from before birth up to the age of 2. The provide health and mental health resources to support the mothers. This group uses a blanket that they pass around as each person speaks. The blanket represents the fact that the mother is her baby’s blanket of support and the HCW is the mother’s blanket of support. The young mothers indicated that they appreciated the program because they experienced the feeling of love, were able to speak openly and appreciated having someone walking with them through this journey. They liked being able to share concerns and get answers to questions they couldn’t ask their family members. Most births are now in a hospital. The clients are generally referred by clinics. Each worker has 6 clients in a specific region and they try to stay with the mothers for the full 1000 days, functioning as a social worker with them and providing food vouchers if they are needed. Some of them even bring them food from their homes. The workers say it is very hard to focus on providing emotional support when there is so much else that is also needed.

From Laurie: My group attended and participated in a youth group session facilitated by one of the dlalanathi trained peer educators. The facilitator was quite skilled and the session was very powerful. We started by playing – tossing a ball around a circle in a way that required coordination, memory and focus. The young people were much better at it than we were! There were about four young women and four young men present and they (and we) were forthcoming as we did round table comments and responses before and after watching a video. The young people were very perceptive and concluded that a) what they needed most, and b) the way they could be most helpful to others in need in their community, was LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND. Some of them felt they had no-one in their lives who did this for them. And they all agreed that the issues presented by the video – drugs, unemployment, abuse, sexual harassment – were all prevalent in their community.

I met and spoke at some length to two young women today, very similar in age but with very different lives.

Mbali, 28, doesn’t remember her father who died when she was a baby. She was raised by her mother and a stepfather to whom she is very close. Her grandmother didn’t believe that women needed an education so her mother quit school after grade 11, though she is very smart and has a good mind for business. Mbali’s older sister works for the Royal Caribbean cruise line. She also has a 13-year-old brother who she says is a nice boy and she is hoping to help him stay that way! She has a Bachelor’s degree in Child and Youth Development and a Masters degree in Health Sciences. Her dream is to get a PhD and to do research. She was encouraged by a professor in her program when she did a presentation on her undergraduate research on music as a modality for helping adolescents recovering from trauma. She has a fiancé with twin 9-year-old daughters and regrets that she has stopped going to the gym (she has asthma and a knee injury) because her life is pretty busy. She is a youth worker a dlalanathi currently.

Lindelwa, 26, was a participant in the youth group session. She lives with her much-loved grandmother, her uncle and her two daughters, 7 and 4. The 7-year-old is in grade 1. There was no mention of the children’s father. She has no job but is trying to stay positive about finding something. She dreams of being a doctor and is remaining hopeful about possibly getting a bursary to attend tertiary school some day but doesn’t know how she would handle it with her children. Her grandmother is too old now to help. Lindelwa cooks for her family, and she and her daughters love to sing and dance. She told me she likes rhythm and blues and loves Beyonce’s energy!

On the way back in the bus, I asked Mbali what she thought was the main difference between her life and Lindelwa’s life. She said that she thinks in the rural communities the young people don’t have any role models of people getting higher education or doing interesting jobs so they don’t prepare themselves for those possibilities. Their worlds are much smaller. There was another young woman in the youth group who had her young baby with her and also had no relationship with the baby’s father. It made me shift my opinion just a little on “the maidens” because I can see what a difference it would make to prevent them from getting pregnant young, and to give them the opportunity to travel around the country dancing, and possibly even to receive a bursary for further education. It is a very complicated, unequal world.

Today we visited Siyanqoba in a VERY rural part of the province of KwaZulu-Natal. (There are 600,000 AIDS orphans in this province.)  It took us many hours to get there from Durban and back to Pietermaritzburg, some of it on a rough bumpy dirt road through hilly country. The name of this group means “we beat it!” They provide holistic care and support to individuals and families affected by HIV and poverty in the rural areas, including areas accessible only by foot. They organize gatherings for older community members, to create spaces for social support, connection and care, and run an after-school program that provides children with education and a nutritious meal. The SLF is a major funder of their programs.

We got the usual (now) enthusiastic, boisterous and beautiful welcome from the Siyanqoba staff when we arrived today. There were at least 50 other women from the community sitting on chairs in the hot sun outside the building where we were invited in for tea who also welcomed us warmly and adoringly. They treat us like celebrities which feels quite awkward. They were all in their best dresses and hats. We were eating and drinking inside and they got nothing until we left to visit the king. And they were still there when we got back a couple of hours later! They stayed right to the end of the day when they were each given a set of sheets, pillow cases and a towel from a city hotel that was upgrading its linens. At that point they became extremely animated, jumping up and down and yipping and putting the bag of linens on their heads! After that several of them came inside where a dance party broke out. I am really going to miss that. We may have to get a bigger venue so we can add dancing to our general meetings.

We were required to visit the King of the Zulu Nation, Misuzulu kaZwelithini. He was apparently busy elsewhere so we were greeted by his two wives, his right-hand man, and his brothers who were slouching against the wall. It was very odd. We were welcomed by more of the dancing Zulu maidens like those who entertained us a couple of nights ago and a few men in ceremonial garb. Introductions and explanations were made in their native language with translation by a young doctor with a gold Rolex watch who was also part of the community. The soft-spoken woman who welcomed us is the person who tests the maidens monthly for virginity! They feel very strongly that they are protecting these girls from disease and being used sexually by the men as well as providing them a chance for a sisterhood and, for some of the brighter ones, a bursary for tertiary education. We met one young girl who is just completing her first year of Education studies at the University of Durban. She spoke good English. Here are a couple of other interesting facts about the girls and women:

• They generally dance bare-breasted until they get close to 21 when they are able to get engaged. The men are directed not to lust after them but to look at them as children.
• The length of your skirt indicates your marital status. The young dancers wear very short skirts that basically just cover their genitals. We were directed to wear skirts well below our knees.
• Women in the Zulu nation are considered the chief breadwinners as well as taking care of the home and the children. The men contribute to society by acting as defenders, hunters and lovers.

The Zulu nation is a very patriarchal society. The right-hand man told us about a development program they run for boys as well. Every time he finished speaking the rest of the slouching men would all laugh but when the young doctor translated for us he didn’t say anything funny. They said that their nation is divided into four parts, each one headed by a servant of the king. That person selects some men from the community – both young and old – and the community itself also selects men – to form an authoritative body that helps keep the community safe. (There are also police, but this council of men is the line of first defence and decision-making.) They said that the mixture of ages helps teach the young men how to be good men and how to treat women right, but they didn’t really define what that meant. Similar to the girls, the brightest of the young men in the council will be given a bursary to attend tertiary education. The expectation, for both girls and boys, is that they will return to help out their communities. (We found out later in the evening that the King had been in court today because his half-brother his challenging his crown, based on the fact that he says the SA President did not use the appropriate process for ratifying him as the King when his father died. Check it out on YouTube: youtu.be/NOik8sQRt1U.)

The Zulu nation, in particular the rural people we met today, are very poor and have the highest youth unemployment rate in South Africa – 47%. Their homes are perched on mountainsides and they suffered terribly with flooding in 2022. (The SLF helped out with extra funding after that.) There are mobile medical clinics with sisters and nurses that come once a month to where we were today, to deal with 60 – 70 chronically ill patients – diabetes, HIV, tuberculosis and hypertension. The doctor writes them prescriptions for six months at a time, so they only have to see him twice a year and they don’t have to walk a long way to the hospital. If the patients with prescriptions don’t show up at the medical clinic, their medication is delivered to their homes. The biggest problem with these mobile clinics, however, is that most of the patients arrive very hungry (when they do home visits, they find no food in the house). The budget for the clinic doesn’t allow for purchase of any food, only a bit of porridge for those who are chronically underweight. For the diabetics, the nurses have to normalize their blood sugar with a drip before they can take their medicine. The lack of food causes problems for those on HIV medication as well. So Siyanqoba sets up a gathering to serve tea and sandwiches twice per month, one of those times on the day of the mobile clinic, not anywhere near sufficient but better than nothing.

The communities have no water. A truck comes to deliver water when it can and they have to pay from their meagre pensions for the water. They have access to electricity but it costs money as well. Most of the grandmothers get about 1500 rands ($120) per month for a pension and with that they have to buy food for themselves and their household, medication, water and electricity. It is clearly not nearly enough.

The SLF Grandmothers Campaign used to tell stories about grandmothers raising their young grandchildren and we in VG4A have been looking forward to getting some updated stories now that many of those original young grandchildren are in their twenties. We know there are some that have grown up educated and healthy and are carrying on the work of their grannies. But today we also heard that some of them, especially the rural and unemployed ones, are into drugs and crime, and sometimes abuse their grannies to get the only money that comes into their household for their own use. Today was another rather sad and discouraging day. But of course it ended up with group photos and joyous dancing. The women are so strong.

The first photo is us with some of the maidens! The one studying to be a teacher is in the middle.

Today’s visit to HACT and then to a Gogo (grandmother) support group (one of 47 supported by HACT) made me feel both angry and sad about the inequalities in the world. I feel angry at gender inequality; several of these gogos had husbands who were seriously abusive and wouldn’t give them money, and the women are happy that many of the husbands have now passed away. Young women, the highest growing incidence of new HIV infections, are often depending on older men to pay their bills and put food on the table. These men (and the young women dependent on them) have normalized having multiple relationships, and the men generally refuse to get tested for HIV. When the women test positive for HIV they are blamed. And I feel angry at the economic equalities in the world – all those millionaires and billionaires who could change people’s lives and hardly feel a dent in their bank accounts, but don’t. ☹

HACT is a truly amazing place, in operation for 35 years, with a brilliant woman CEO from Abbotsford BC (!), 105 paid staff members and 50 volunteers making great things happen in the “Valley of 1000 Hills” north of Durban. This was, and still is, pretty much the epicentre of HIV and AIDS in South Africa. Their annual budget is 20 million rands (about $1.6 million); a government grant for palliative care covers about 5% of that and the Stephen Lewis Foundation (SLF) contribution covers another 5%. They also get funding from local schools, churches, corporations, individuals and events (they are one of the six official charities for the annual Comrades Marathon, a 90K race from Pietermaritzburg (where we’re going tomorrow) to Durban: comrades.com/.) For many years HACT did not meet the criteria for PEPFAR funding but they were finally in the pipeline, which would have helped greatly to expand their funding, when PEPFAR was cancelled. They commented that there is a geopolitical trend towards “introspection” (taking care of your own) for funding that is hurting them. And they do so much good with what they receive! Recently, they met and went through every one of their programs to see if they still matched their stated vision and they couldn’t find a single thing to cut.

HACT is self described as “a place where love and hope transform lives”. Their vision is empowered, healthy and AIDS-free communities. And their stated values are passion, faith, integrity, Ubuntu and empowerment. The heart of their organization is Othandweni (place of love) where they offer palliative and respite care in a 24-bed unit with a waiting list. 34 staff members help 250 – 300 patients per year in this unit and through home-based care. Most of their patients have end stage cancer (there are VERY few oncologists and long waiting lists in the public system in South Africa) or HIV or both. The beautiful stained glass photo below is in the room where they take people to die. There is one full-time staff member who stays with the dying who have no family or loved ones to be there for them. On World AIDS day every year, they hold a ceremony in the peaceful garden surrounding the clinic and light a candle for every person who died of AIDS since the previous year. On December 1, 2024, they lit 71 candles. The 71^st death happened during the ceremony. (That number is finally decreasing again since COVID caused it to rise significantly.)

In addition to this clinic, their other programs include b) support for orphans and vulnerable children (psycho-social support, medication adherence coaching, gender-based violence prevention training, holiday and leadership camps, home visits and assessments and family counselling), c) training programs in primary schools, high schools and post-secondary institutions (they reach 2000 girls annually and have recently started a boys program to help them turn toxic masculinity into healthy masculinity), d) family support and parenting workshops, e) award-winning income generation projects – a café that serves coffee and snacks to the fairly affluent community surround the centre and helps to take away the stigma, huge gardening spaces where individuals can have a garden plot and training (they make their own compost and pots and propagate plants to get new ones), a sewing building and a haberdashery, loads of crafts and currently 400 crafters (they have a bead store and lots of beading going on, glass and plastic being recycled into art), two stores where they sell their crafts to the public, a used books and magazine store and a thrift store. Youth unemployment is staggeringly high. HACT hires between 10 and 20 young interns at all times. They help with the Cafe, monitoring and evaluation, driving, events and nursing care, learning both work skills and social skills and gaining confidence and hope.

We drove to the home of Mildred, the chairperson of the Gogo support group “Snethemba” (Hope) where we had lunch with the Gogos and did lots of singing and dancing. Mildred’s granddaughter also danced for us. We met special guest Ma Cwengi, who was in Toronto in 2006 at the gathering that started it all, and who came back to South Africa and started the first Grandmother support groups. In the photo she is with Phetsile (in red), the HACT staff member who leads a group of six staff whose job is it to monitor the 47 support groups and run an annual Gogolympics! In the Gogolympics they play netball, soccer, and basketball and do relay races and traditional games. Training for these games teaches them about exercise and keeps them fit. The Snethemba group sews, beads, does gardening, makes household cleaners (their dream is to get a sponsor who can help with bottles and labels so they can sell them in the supermarket), has a savings club, and looks out for one another. Look hard at the photo of them all in their lime green shirts – all of the decorating on their skirts and blouses and hats and ears and wrists and necks is beads! It was hard to say goodbye today. We promised them we will keep up our fund-raising and “we will not rest until they can rest”. 

Today was a travel day. We took a plane from Cape Town to Durban and then drove about 40 minutes to Pinetown where we will stay for the next 2 nights. We had a wonderful, long, drawn-out dinner at the hotel – singing and dancing and speeches and presentations and more singing and dancing - with executive and local members of the Grandmothers Movement in South Africa (GMISA). South African grandmothers have courageously held families and communities together in the face of unrelenting hardships, including loss, grief, stigma and discrimination, and deserve recognition, support and influence going forward. Building on the momentum of the 2016 South African Grandmothers Gathering, GMISA grandmothers organized, mobilized and registered GMISA in 2018. GMISA has been a Stephen Lewis Foundation partner since 2021. GMISA grandmothers envision a society where they are respected, recognized, valued, cared for, and their immense contributions are acknowledged. Mama Darlina is the chairperson. I also met her in Winnipeg at the International Grandmothers Gathering in 2023. She is a dynamo and the author of my favourite quote from the book “Powered By Love”. “It's older women who've got a lifetime experience of being oppressed. Tell me who has to be stronger on this planet than an African woman? So if you make it to be an older African woman you must be the strongest of all.”

However we heard a few things that made it seem like this is going to be an uphill battle. These seasoned activists are ready but …

• Every time some local VIP welcomes us it is a man. Tonight’s man, representing the mayor, mentioned in his speech that men have to work and women have to stay at home!
• We learned that there is a child support grant of 500 rands (about $40) per month per child that is available to caregivers, with an additional 200 rands if the parents are dead. However there is a much bigger grant (over an additional 1000 rands per month) called a foster care grant that used to be available to grandmothers raising their grandchildren but has recently been cancelled for all caregivers who are related to the people they are caring for. ☹
• Mama Eunice told some hair-raising stories about her thwarted attempts to convince grandmothers in the small villages to join the movement. (Her photo is below too, in the green shirt.)
• The executive members are getting quite old and worrying about who is going to replace them. Mama Darlina is going to be 79 this year. She is the same age as the oldest member of our group. The photo below is of the two of them together.

Luckily, Jenny, one of the SLF's field workers, was on the same plane as we were from Cape Town to Durban and she is here to spend some time with GMISA helping them come up with a strategic plan. 

A fabulously energetic troupe of young women dancers (ages 12 – 21), all who had been raised by grandmothers, and who are coached by one of the GMISA members, entertained us before dinner. They called them “the maidens” and apparently they are only allowed to stay in the troupe if they remain virgins. This is a requirement designed to protect them. The dancing involves a lot of putting yourself out there in front of the troupe and showing off your own personal skills; it must be a great confidence builder for them. They also dance once per year for the king. Some of the alumni who have gone on to get married come back and talk to the girls about how important it is to save yourself for your husband. (We all agreed that we would prefer the message to be something about self-respect and independence but there you go.)

Before the maidens danced we were practising our version of “Powered by Love” which we performed later in the night and lots of the South African grannies got up and danced with us. That was actually more fun than the performance itself.

The evening was thought-provoking, and we have three partner visits, three full days, coming up. Good night!

Today Bonnie visited Music Works and I visited Mamelani Projects. Both were absolutely inspiring.

Music Works: From Bonnie: Today I was in the group that visited Music Works which is a non profit organization partnering with communities in Cape Town’s marginalized neighbourhoods.  Many children grow up in an environment of poverty, neglect, abuse, violence or substance abuse. Consequently they miss out on the playfulness and freedom of childhood and this impacts their social and emotional development.  Music Works uses music to help children develop their self confidence and unlock their potential.

Music Works runs four programs and the one we saw in action is the Music for Life program.  We visited Heideveld Primary School which has 1080 students in kindergarten to grade 7.  The music program is offered to children in grades 3 and 5 once a week.  Each class has a half hour session which consists of a welcome song where each child is acknowledged by name.  Then they work on one or two dances led by an instructor and accompanied by drumming.  We were invited to join in the dancing and you could feel the joy radiating from these young people.  We also all had a lesson on the drums which was very fun.

MoniTwo of the classroom teachers joined us to give their perspective on how the program benefits their students.  They shared that the students were calmer and more focussed after each music session.  Also that it was a time for the children to express themselves and be recognized among their peers.  Several of the music leaders are men and are good male role models, something that is missing in many children’s lives.  The teachers also gave us some information about the education system.  Most classes consist of a minimum of 32 students and the focus is on academic achievement with very little time for fine arts.  Access to support services such as physiotherapists, occupational therapists and social workers is extremely limited.

Music Works has three other programs.
Early Childhood Development  - this program provides creative music facilitation training to teachers and care workers working with children 2 to 6 years of age.
Music Therapy Program - this program is targeted to children with disabilities and those who have experienced trauma. 
Creative Resilience Program - for children in grade 6.  This program includes reproductive health, goal setting and enhancing children’s strengths.

The small staff at Music Works are very committed to the programs and were generous with their time with us.  They are grateful for the ongoing support from the SLF.

Mamelani Projects (name means Listen Up!): From Laurie: Mamelani started in 2003 with a focus on health care for children and the adults caring for them. The Stephen Lewis Foundation (SLF) has been funding them since 2007. They have other funding partners as well but have never received funding from US AID. A few years ago, when the South African government took over some of the health care initiatives, Mamelani shifted their focus to helping young people transition out of care when they are 18; most of them were just being left on their own to figure out how to adult, ie. find accommodation and work and figure out their lives. “Care” is not foster care; it is court-ordered removal from the parental home to a child and youth care centre (CYCC). And as we have heard many times, they are grateful that the SLF funding is not tied to anything particular and that it was easy to shift their priorities without reapplying for funding.

Mamelani has an executive director, a programs manager, an office manager and five youth transitions facilitators. They partner with 15 CYCCs in Cape Town, some of them private and some of them that receive government funding; each one has between 50 and 150 children living there, some quite young. The focus is on protection and the residents have to leave at the age of 18, or when they graduate from high school if that happens first. All of the girl teenagers are put on mandated birth control. (It becomes their own choice once they are 18.) The stated goal of the CYCCs is that the families will stabilize and be able to take their child back but if they are still there at the age of 18 then that didn’t happen (and mostly it doesn’t). Mamelani’s post-care transitions program is 3 years long with an intake of 30 new young people (by application) every 18 months. The three years actually begins when they have about one year left at the centre. The focus is on interdependent living, help navigating for resources and support, and individual mentoring. Some youth need to finish school, some want to attend post-secondary and some want to go to work. Some are HIV+ and have to be helped to transition from the pediatric care system to the adult care system; the systems are apparently quite different. They disclose their status to their mentor and their cohort when they are ready. There are 11 areas they work during the three years: accommodation and reintegration (there is a housing shortage in Cape Town so they also have 5 residential partners willing to take young people between 18 and 24; Mamelani helps with decreasing rental support), interdependent life skills (develop networks of support), mental health, self care, further study, nutrition, sexual health, work readiness and experiential workshops (cooking, shopping etc). (I missed a couple. ☹) Mamelani keeps good statistics and are very proud that they have achieved 100% accommodation placements and 90% of their grads are interning, studying or working in a sustainable situation (far above the country’s average). 70% of them receive food support of 530 rands (about $40) per month, higher than what the government provides. The youth graduate from the post-care program into an alumni program, and the alumni’s ideas and opinions are utilized for continuous improvement of the program. Once again, I am totally impressed by the methodologies and beliefs that lie at the heart of what they do, a focus on community, collaboration and interdependence. We learned a new phrase, related to UBUNTU. This one is “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” – a person is a person through other people.

In addition to the post-care transitions program, Mamelani has two other areas of important work. 1) They go into the CYCCs and do capacity building with the staff members, both with directors and policies and with youth workers and social workers about the nitty gritty of transitions – getting the residents involved in life skills at an early age for example – helping with laundry and dishes, tidying their rooms, etc. They are also able to do centre-specific training on request. 2) They work on advocacy and research. This includes collecting stories; they have just produced a booklet (which we are bringing home) and have a documentary about to be released. Some of the youth went to parliament to try to strengthen a bill that was waiting for consideration. The bill says that the CYCCs MAY provide transitional support and they promoted changing that to MUST. Three times per year they host a “Pastalani” where they cook and serve pasta and youth and alumni are encouraged to bring their friends and family members.

Our visit started at the new office location and in addition to the staff there was one youth from the post-care program and several alumni present. Despite having all come from traumatic backgrounds, the young people, many of them boys, were articulate, passionate, confident and extremely self-aware as they shared their stories with us. Reflection – in a variety of modalities and after every single meeting, session, workshop or visit – is a huge part of how this is achieved. Mamelani’s approach is that they treat all of their young people as adults. They recognize that young people will take risks and make mistakes but the reflection piece encourages them to share honestly and learn from their mistakes. We are impressed over and over again by the way these partner organizations work.

From the office, we visited a CYCC and were toured around by one of the former female residents and a post-care alumni, 24 years old, who is now qualified as a personal trainer and working as a fitness instructor. She showed a lot of love for this home where she had spent 5 years, from 14 – 18. Our next and final stop was at one of the residence partners for 18 – 24-year-olds for whom accommodation is a challenge. This particular one was built in a church and is called Isibindi which means “guts”; they emphasize bravery and courage in their residents. There are four residence rooms on the stage, and 12 girls live in three storage containers out behind the church that were donated by ShopRite when they were ready to throw them out. There is a house leader that asks “how was your day?” but there are no rules or curfews; the residents are treated as adults. Isibindi also runs an after-school care centre. 20 children attend daily and get help with their schoolwork and a meal. We ate lunch here – chicken biryani, buns, juice and milk tarts for dessert. The meal for 20 of us was cooked completely by Wanda, a Mamelani alumnus who is in the third year of chef school and hopes to own her own restaurant. I asked her if she had a dream and she said she’d like to go to Paris! The food was delicious. The staff members and the young people stayed with us for the entire day, and because our van pickup was about an hour late we had lots of time for individual conversations. When the young people were asked to reflect about the day, one of the young men (who had shared his story earlier of trying to live with his uncle when he graduated from the CYCC but was overwhelmed by the crime, drug use and gang violence that was part of his uncle’s community), said he was surprised that elderly women like ourselves were still involved so much and doing good work. He said he thought that by our age most people would want to just “sit and chill”.

When we returned back to our hotel, we had a dance practice for “Powered by Love” which we are performing tomorrow night and then a dozen of us went out to a nice restaurant on the waterfront. “We will not rest” has taken on a second meaning!

a relaxation room with exercise equipment and a book nook at a CYCC

4 singles and 3 double rooms + 2 bathrooms and the house mother's room in the storage containers

Wanda the chef and Monika the executive director

Today 14 of us went in a van with a guide down the east side of the peninsula south of Cape Town (with False Bay on our left most of the way) to the most southwesterly point in South Africa, Cape Point, and just before it, the Cape of Good Hope. Sailors trying to round the bottom of Africa to get to the Indian Ocean often thought they were at Cape Point and crashed into the Cape of Good Hope or its huge rocky outcrops. On the way we passed the surfers' beach at Muizenberg and a fabulous colony of penguins at Boulders Beach and had lunch in a seaside restaurant. We saw several baboons and baboon families, a couple of wild ostriches and some elands (large antelopes) from the van. The day ended watching the sun set over the Atlantic Ocean from Chapman's Peak. It was a pretty wonderful day. 

All of us visited the GAPA building today for yet another incredible welcome and show of love and gratitude. We were welcomed with a rousing song and dance (of course!) and lots of hugs. Then we sat down and there was another welcome song and a prayer. All of the women seemed to be saying their own prayer out loud but their hope and thankfulness came through with tremendous sincerity. Then they informed us that they were just about to do their morning exercises, a regular start to their weekly Tuesday get-togethers, and invited us all into the courtyard to join them. A woman in the centre of the circle led us in some of the usual full-body movement exercises, including a Xhosa rendition of “head and shoulders knees and toes” which include chest and waist, as well as some ball throwing and catching and kicking! There were also a small number of men present, and we were informed that they had recently allowed grandfathers to join GAPA and that they had hired a male manager 3 months ago. The few men somehow managed to take over the ball kicking but the manager also made a nice analogy to life – you have to anticipate that the ball is coming, then stop it, control it and choose your next direction.

When we returned indoors we went through at least an hour of introductions. One of the women whose name was Jolene broke into the Dolly Parton song as part of her introduction! There was singing and dancing for the welcome, the prayers, on the way out to exercises, on the way back from exercises, in between every introduction, for serving of the tea (roiboos or black) and sandwiches and pretty much everything else we did all day. Most of the songs are in their native language (Xhosa) and apparently many of the lyrics are quite political and awareness-raising, teaching the young to stand up to gender-based violence for example. My favourite is “Never Give Up” and the women sing with such strong, powerful, tuneful voices that you feel very lucky to be in the same room with them. Many of them, at least half, spoke good English and were able to switch back and forth from Xhosa to English without batting an eye. The feeling of sisterhood was palpable and the way they treated one another was loving, inclusive, non-judgmental and apparently without ego. Ubuntu (“we are stronger together”) is a very important part of their creed and their spirit. I enjoyed noting some of their similarities to us as well as their differences. One of the executive team arrived late because she is still caring for children at home though she is in her 70s. The woman who was chairing today’s visit was eating from a bowl of leftover salad late in the afternoon because she had not managed to sit down for lunch. Almost all of the women were wearing headdresses but with a great diversity of designs, some were wearing beautiful fan-shaped beaded necklaces, a couple had face paint, many wore big earrings, and lots of them wore glasses.

After tea and before lunch we did some bead-making. Most of the income-generating projects involve beads, knitting and crochet, or food gardening. Each woman who makes something keeps all of the money for what gets sold. Today when we bought things, one of the women came up to the purchaser and said “Thank you – now I can eat supper tonight.” They made sure that we sat alternating a Canadian visitor with a GAPA member when we were beading and when we were eating lunch. That made for a lot of sharing. It also meant that we all had different conversations with different individuals. I met two very interesting and different women. Thandi had a very abusive husband who she wanted to leave but felt she couldn’t because of her children. Then he died of a stroke 23 years ago. Since then she has been much happier. Her two daughters are now 31 and 33 years old and one of them is married to a nice man; the oldest had a twin sister who died quite young. She said, now that she is feeling healthy, safe and empowered, she sometimes wishes her husband would come back so she could give him a piece of her mind. (Actually she said she’d like to do something worse than that.) Zola was part of a “Grandmother Club” from a different region. She joined that club when she turned 60 and they immediately asked her to be the chairperson. She told me her work history. She was the first black secretary of a big local company and had eventually ended up being the personal assistant to the CEO. I asked her how she had become so strong and capable and she told me that her mother had been very strong but wasn’t educated. So when she added education to her genetics (secretarial college) it really made a difference. She admitted that leadership was very challenging and expressed disappointment that none of her other club members were willing to come along with her to this visit. She said her car is broken so she has to walk 20 minutes each way to her club’s weekly Wednesday meetings and she is saddened by the number of women who don’t make it to meetings for what she deems weak excuses (“I had to do my laundry.”) She said there is jealousy among the women in her club and a feeling that, although they like to receive the benefits, few of them are willing to give up their time for the group. I felt that was a bit of a reality check for me, that nobody is perfect and all groups have challenges, after I had been so blown away by the GAPA women.

The manager explained to us some of the many ways GAPA has become an essential part of their wider community in the 23 years of their existence. There are 35 support groups, or grandmother clubs, with a total of 600 members, all in the general vicinity of the Cape Town “slums”. Each group sends a couple of representatives to the weekly Tuesday meetings and takes back the learning to their own groups.

• ·       Their Tuesday meetings have a focus on health. They do exercises, learn about food gardening and eating of organic food, and talk about their issues. They call these issue sharing sessions “ikhupha” which translates as “coughing up” and they are encouraged to be brutally honest about the things they are worried about or need help with. The manager or the occupational therapist usually sits in on these meetings to observe what issues arise and try to arrange future presentations or immediate help, depending on their nature. Health assessments are made available for 30 rands (about $2.40) per person and there is a weekly presentation on some aspect of health.
• ·       They run an after-school care program five days per week for local children for which they charge 20 rands ($1.60) per month, and have also started a program during school holidays. They are very committed to this because the alternative is kids being home alone and unsafe for their after-school time. Some of the young girls (ages 7 – 15) came to meet us and dance for us today (on a Saturday).
• ·       They have many project partners. Recently the University of Cape Town has started sending Social Work students to them for placements. This is very helpful.
• ·       They do a lot of advocacy work to influence government policies. They get invited to events and conferences such as one coming up in June in Johannesburg, a “National Dialogue on Elderly Persons”.
• ·       HIV is no longer a big problem, although they worry about educating the young people properly. Most of their members who are HIV+ (and there are many) are on medication and understand its importance. They said that when Trump temporarily stopped their access to medication they went straight to the government to say they had to do something. If the government refuses to help when it is needed again, they will just keep advocating until they get the response they need.
• ·       Crime, drugs, alcohol abuse and elder abuse are all big problems in their communities. Recently a grandson hit his granny and blackened her eye. She reported it to GAPA, and the boy was charged and taken to court. Whenever one of these cases goes to court, a GAPA delegation goes to court too, to show support and solidarity for the victim. They are a force to be reckoned with!
• ·       GAPA had no US AID funding so this has not been an issue for them. That doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges; there are many. They have no technology and little means of transportation for some of their members who can’t make it to meetings. The secretary told me that she writes minutes for each of their Tuesday meetings longhand in a notebook and then reads them aloud for approval and for those who didn’t attend at the next meeting.

They were quite thrilled when we were introducing ourselves and they realized that several of the Canadian groups use the term “Gogos” in their name. When Meg French (executive director of the SLF) said that our mantra is “We will not rest until they can rest” it got a big cheer. We left with more big hugs. Our rides home from these days are always quieter than the rides there as people process what they have seen and felt.

Here is GAPA's Facebook post about our visit: facebook.com/share/p/19AJsEdJNi/?mibextid=wwXlfr.

What an absolutely beautiful city is Cape Town! We got on the second Hop On Hop Off bus of the morning and didn't get back until sunset. We took the cable car up Table Mountain, one of the seven natural wonders of the world, had lunch on the beach and toured the Botanical Garden. The gardens were not as spectacular as they could be (60,000 species) because it is the beginning of winter, but we did manage to see the King Protea, the national flower of South Africa, which grows only around the Cape area. Then in the evening 20 of us went to the famous Gold Restaurant for a 14-course meal and entertainment from all over the African continent. It was quite a day and now it's bedtime. Thanks for following along!

above photo: colonial lawn bowling with the beach and Table Mountain in the distance !

Today we took a flight from Manzini, Eswatini to Johannesburg, SA, and then from Johannesburg to Cape Town. We arrived in Cape Town and got our first views of Table Mountain right at sunset. It was pretty glorious. What a beautifully situated city, recently awarded the title of Time Out's "Best City in the World to Visit". Tomorrow we have a free day. Most of us are getting on the Hop On Hop Off bus for at least part of the day. Dinner was hilarious with 16 women trying to figure out what to see and what time to leave and so on, each trying to convince the others that their idea was the best. Bonnie and I and one or two others are heading out at 8:30 am and hoping to put in a good long day on the HOHO. We are both keen on taking the cable car up Table Mountain if the weather cooperates, and trying to see the beautiful Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens. I also want to spend some time at the beach. :) 

We heard some news this morning about Trump presenting the president of South Africa with what he called evidence of white genocide. Shortly after, we met an Afrikaner married couple, about our age, who told us:

• not to trust anyone at all that we meet in South Africa,
• that there is indeed a white genocide going on (He said with great confidence that SA is already at the 8th stage of the 10 stages of genocide with regard to the white farmers.)
• that 84 white farmers per day are killed in SA, more than people dying in Ukraine daily.
• that they like to call the SA President "Squirrel" instead of Cyril. 

When I fact-checked this, this is what I found out: According to the South African Police Service (SAPS), only one farmer was murdered in the third quarter of 2024.

Maybe I shouldn't even be sharing this because I don't know very much about it but it was easy to see that this couple was a) very privileged, and b) very angry. South Africa is indeed a country with many complex challenges and I found this exchange interesting and difficult on the heels of Trump's ambush of President Cyril Ramaphosa.

view of Table Mountain from the bus: